What's your story?

Dear Autumn,
As I'm sitting here eating lunch, I can't help but think about you and your life. What's the story behind who you are? Do you have {biological} brothers and sisters? If so, how old are they? Do you look like them? What did your parents do after they found out you had Down syndrome, but before they gave you up? Did they get angry? Did they cry? Did they make a decision quickly to give you away? Why did they give you up? Did they give you up out of fear of what others would think of them if they had a child that was "different"? Did they give you up because they were selfish and didn't want to be "burdened" with a child with needs different than their own? Did your {biological} mama want you? Did your {biological} daddy make her give you up? I sit here and wonder these things. I know that one day I will know the answer to these questions. Somewhere, deep inside of me, I am afraid to find out the answers. Depending on the answers, will they make me feel anger towards your {biological} parents? Will I feel pity for them? Will I grieve for them? I am just having a hard time wrapping my mind around things. What would make them give you up? I am sitting here aching to hold you, to kiss you, to love you. They had every opportunity to do what I long to do, yet they let it go. You were in their grasp, and they let go. I want to give you the love and hugs and kisses that they never gave you.......the love and hugs and kisses that they let go of. I want to show you what love really means. I will be the family that you never had. I love you so much, sweet girl, and I long for you now more than ever.

Waiting for you,
Sissy