Desperate for air.....

Dear Autumn,
Sometimes, I feel as if I can't go another day without you here. I am so desperate to get you home that I would swim across a choppy ocean for as many days, months, years it would take just to bring you home. Sometimes, I don't know what to do. I try to sit back and be patient.....and let God be God. Then, I start getting impatient, and I try to tell myself that things aren't happening fast enough. Then, I have to remind myself that things are happening as fast as they should because this adoption is not running on my time, but on God's time. God is never early and He is never late. I see other families going to get their babies, and I feel so much joy and excitement for them! It just makes my heart so happy. Somewhere, in my heart though, I feel a sting of jealousy. I wish that it was our turn. I know our time is coming, but the waiting part is so hard. It feels like I'm tumbling around in the ocean, caught in a wave, and I'm desperately trying to come up for air. As hard as I try, though, I can't catch my breath. I just want to bring you home, baby girl. I just want you to be safe with us.
I am begging God to provide.

Loving you though I have never even met you,
Sissy