The Ways That You've Changed Me

Dear Laura,
I was thinking about alot of stuff today. I was thinking about all of the ways that you've changed me and my perspective on....well, everything. I have always loved babies and kids. Always. Even before you were born, I even loved kids with special needs. I never knew anybody with special needs really, but I remember seeing kids in wheelchairs while we were out shopping or out eating, and I remember just stopping and smiling at them. I knew in my heart that they were special. One time, I was smiling at a little boy in a wheelchair, and his mom thought I was laughing at him, so she gave me a horrible look. I wish that I could have told her that I wasn't making fun of her child, but I was in fact, admiring him. I used to look at families that had kids with special needs, and I used to think how different their lives must be than mine.

I used to think that their lives revolved around that child's "disability". I used to wonder if their lives were ever "normal" because I used to think that they would never be "normal" again because their child had special needs. I used to see these families walk around the mall normally just like any other family, but I still thought that their family was so much different than mine. Now, I know why they were able to walk around normally. They could do it because.....they are normal.
You have taught me this, Laura. When we found out that you had Down syndrome, I wondered if our lives would ever be the same again. I didn't think that life would ever be normal again. I didn't think that I'd ever be able to not think about anything other than you having Down syndrome. 2 1/2 years into this journey with you, I know how so very wrong that I was.

I don't think about Down syndrome all of the time. It's not that I try not to think about it. It's just that you are so normal to me that I have no reason to think about it. My life is so....normal. Yes, my life is different than it was before you were born because it is so much BETTER than before you were born! You have made my life beautiful. More beautiful than it has ever been. You have made my life normal. Because I am no longer missing the most amazing thing that could ever happen to me. I am no longer missing a part of who I am.
I was also thinking about how others view Down syndrome. Sometimes, we will see a baby or child while we are out, and I wonder if they have Down syndrome because they kind of look like they do.

I am afraid to ask their parents if they do, though. Do you know why I am afraid? I am afraid that I might offend them. People would be offended if you think their "normal" child has special needs. It breaks my heart that it would offend someone if I think they have a child like you. I wish people could see that that is not an offensive question. I wish that they could see that it's not an offense to have a child with special needs but a blessing. Then, it got me thinking......what would I do if someone thought that I had special needs?

What would I think if someone walked up to me and asked if I had Down syndrome because of the way that I looked or because of the way that I did something? My first reaction, shamefully, was that I would be offended. I don't expect others to be offended so why would I be offended? I honestly can't answer my own question. I don't know why I would be offended if someone thought that. I don't know why I would be offended if someone asked me that. Then, it occurred to me......I would be offended because I didn't want them to think that I was "different". Why would I think that? Me of all people should know how normal people with special needs are. Sometimes, I wonder if they're more "normal" than the "normal" people that I know haha After my first initial response, I changed my answer. I would not be offended if people thought that I had a special need. That would just mean that they thought that I was different and what is so wrong with them thinking that I was different? I've always been one that wants to stand out. I've never been one that has wanted to fit in. So, thank you, sweet girl, for changing my life and the way that I think. Thank you for showing me that it's ok to be what the world sees as "different" :)

I love you to the moon and back 1,000 times x 10!

Love,
Sissy