Dear Laura,
Today, I was thinking alot about life. I have been thinking about life alot lately, actually. I think it's because of the new year. Putting 2011 behind me and getting ready to endure 2012 has had me thinking alot about all that happened in 2011.
In 2011, our family went through alot together as a family and each as individuals. At one point, we thought Papa might have cancer. You went through intestinal surgery. You had ear tubes put in. You had your appendix removed. I went through two, very hard break-ups. Bubba went through a break-up. Me and Bubba lost a friend who was only 20 years old. We lost a long time family friend. These are only some of the hard things that we had to endure in 2011.
Yes, 2011 was a hard year on all of us. I'm sure it wasn't as hard on you because you are just 2 years old. 2 year olds usually don't have much to worry about ;)
2011 wasn't ALL horrible though. We also had alot of good things happen in 2011. We committed to adopting Autumn. I met and fell in love with David. I have grown even closer to God. You endured your surgery like the beautiful warrior that you are. I got to see Phil Wickham in concert ;) I got to go to Disneyland with my bestie, Mackenzie! We got to meet the amazing Rice family, and I got to finally snuggle with Lilybird. These are just a few good things that I can think of that happened in 2011. There are many more good things that happened though!
"Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beatiful ride."
I started thinking about this quote the other day because it is SO true. Life isn't always perfect. Sometimes, it's really, really hard.
But in the end, it is beautiful.
Do you know what makes it so beautiful, sweet girl? The fact that no matter what happens, we have the Creator of the universe holding us in His hands.
We may go through ups and downs in life, but God NEVER leaves us. He never forsakes us. He has beautiful and perfect plans for our lives.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
When I was about 11 years old, I used to think of life so differently than I do now. At that time, I thought 16 was SO old and mature. I thought by the time that I was 16, I would have it all. A car, a job, a boyfriend.
By the time I was 16, I had no car and no job. I didn't even have a permit to drive yet! I did have the boyfriend which soon ended because I didn't wait out for the man that God had for me. I tried to rush life, and then I had to pay the consequences for it.
Back when I was 16, I thought I had life all figured out. I was just a high school girl who felt like she was on top of the world. 2008 was the year that I turned 16. I felt like I was on cloud 9. I had my first boyfriend, I had all of my girl friends to hang out with whenever I wanted to, and I felt like I had it made. Little did I know at that time, but soon my boyfriend who I thought loved me would break up with me, my friends would abandon me, and I would feel alone.
Life wasn't turning out the way that I thought it should have been. Do you know why that is? Because I didn't wait for God to bring that perfect man into my life. I didn't choose the right friends to hang out with. I could have been doing so many more things in my life than I was doing.
With each year that passes, I realize how much I don't know about life. Back when I was 16, I thought I knew it all. I thought I had my life all planned out for me, and I thought I had it all figured out.
My problem was, though, is that I had my life all planned out. I was looking out for what I wanted for myself. I thought my plans were the best. Instead, I should have been praying for and looking for what God wanted for me.....not myself.
No matter what, ALWAYS make sure that what you are doing and wanting in life is what God wants for you. Don't settle for anything less because it may feel right at the time, but it won't last long.
When my first boyfriend broke up with me, I felt like life was over (I was a bit dramatic haha) ;), but now, I see God's big plans for my life. I didn't know why I was having to go through all of that heartbreak then, but now I know.
I leaned on God, and I trusted in Him to lead me where He wanted me to go. And look where I am now. God has blessed me with an amazing man of God who loves the Lord with all that he is and longs to be a pastor.
Even though I felt as though my life was falling apart then, I didn't realize that my life was actually coming together.
God was having all of that happen so that I could be where I am today which is EXACTLY where God wants me to be.
I know that you are little now, and none of this pertains to you now, but it will someday. Someday when you are older, I want you to look back at this letter, and know that your life is in God's hands. He is in control.
Even if something seems and feels hard at the time, I want you to know that God has something even better for you in store. It will be waiting right around the corner. You just have to wait and let God be God.
Don't try to rush life. Enjoy every.single.second of it. Serve God. Live your life for Him. Read your Bible. Study your Bible. Get them knees dirty in prayer. Lift your hands in worship.
If you do those things I listed, things will be easier to bare when life gets hard.
I also want you to always know that I will always be here for you, too. No matter what time of the day or night you need me, I will be there. Always. No exceptions.
Thank you for making my life so much brighter, baby girl, just by being you. You surely are the most beautiful person that I have ever laid eyes on.
I love you to the moon and back 1,000 times x 10!
Love,
Sissy
2 comments:
SUUUCH a sweet post ash:):) ur the most amazing big sister ever and i miss u like cray cray!
Simply beautiful.
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